FIGHTING THE HEART WAR WITH LOVE.

tbt 4.22.12- hayden's heart goes to surgical conference

23 May 2014

We have been back at CHOP for over a week now and Hayden's infection seems to be pretty much cleared up. While we have been here, there has been talk about the pressure in Hayden's left atrium and he was even scheduled for a Cath procedure to possibly balloon a hole between the two atriums to lower the pressure in the left side. The doctors chose not to do the scheduled cath procedure and to wait until the weekly conference with about 60 doctors and surgeons and discuss Hayden's heart there to come up with a plan. So for now, we are waiting a few days for that conference and for a decision to be made. 
In the meantime, Hayden's oxygen levels have been dropping spiratically. Each time, we were able to get him back up with a little sniff of oxygen. The first time it happened was Thursday afternoon- this was the first time since he was born that I actually saw him turn a blueish- grey...just another scary sight I never thought I'd have to see as a parent. Late Friday night Hayden's oxygen saturations dipped extremely low again and the 'sniff' of oxygen wasn't helping at all. His lowest was around 50%- because of his heart, he usually sits between 75-85, and we are at 100%. They immediately put him back on a nasal cannula which gives him constant breathing support and called for blood to be taken and an x-ray. When all of that came back okay, the doctors came to the conclusion that he needed a blood transfusion. Which of course meant he needed an IV and the one he had was no longer working. Through this entire time I had remained calm and stable for both Hayden and myself but when the IV team poked him 5 different times, stability and strength were just not there. The first time was by far the hardest I ever heard him cry. After the second poke, the woman looked at me and mentioned maybe I shouldn't be in here- I love how they say that actually think a mother would leave their child at a time like that. After 3 more pokes, they finally got it in. But not before Hayden and I were traumatized by the entire ordeal. Almost immediately after the IV was in place, they began running the blood through. By mid morning the next day, Hayden's oxygen levels were back up and he was doing much better. I asked the doctor that morning if blood transfusions were going to become a pattern for Hayden since this is the third one he has gotten in 6 weeks of life. He said that it shouldn't become a pattern- what most likely caused this one was the amount of blood they had taken from him over the past week and he just needed a little boost. 
Back to the cath- I asked this same doctor what his take was on the cath and the reasons behind the confusion- basically what it comes down to is this: Hayden's surgeon Dr Spray wants the cath done to make sure the pressure isn't too high in the left side and to make sure he is still on track for stage two. His cath doctor doesn't want the procedure done because he is afraid the size hole he makes to measure the pressure will be too large and then the plan Dr SPray has for Hayden's heart will not be a possibility. This is the reason Hayden's case will be discussed on Tuesday mornings conference. Hopefully we will have some answers sometime in the afternoon!
Hayden's feeds continue to be on the top of our recovery list. As of this moment, he is 36 hours vomit-free!! We are now fortifying his breast milk with a special formula called nutramagin- and he is also on three different meds for reflux. As much as I hate having him on so many medications, I am learning to adapt to the advice everyone here is giving me- the most important thing right now is doing whatever it takes to get Hayden from point A to point B (point A being now, point B being stage 2). This is sometimes still hard for me- I hate that he has a tube and moreso that he needs that tube to survive. I want so badly for him to be a normal baby who eats all their food from a nipple. I constantly have to remind myself that Hayden needs more help- and hopefully all this is temporary. At any rate, we have been celebrating off and on all day for Hayden's feeding success- he is even feeding more from the bottle than he has in a long time too! 

Thank you as always for your support through all of this. Please say some prayers that the decision made is that Hayden's heart is stable enough to make it to stage 2 without a cath procedure and that Hayden and I can go home this week. I can feel myself starting to fade on this part of the journey and being home with Jackson is often all I can think about. Please also pray for Hayden that he continues to do well with his new feedings and starts to gain some weight! 

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DEDICATED TO HAYDEN JETER DORSETT
3.12.12 - 8.16.12

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