welcoming 2015 with open arms

31 December 2014

I remember New Years Eve of 2012- Hayden had been gone for just over 4 months and I was still in such a dark dark place. The thought of starting a new year just hurt. I didn't want 2012 to end- it was the year of Hayden- and even though he died in 2012 and I was in the saddest time of my life,  it was also the only time he lived and to start a new year without him just didn't feel right. It was painful and sad and 2013 was a year I was not looking forward to. It proved to be a tough year- getting out of bed and functioning daily was rough- and I was in total depression. The following year I looked forward to and welcomed 2014 knowing that our rainbow would soon be coming. I looked at this new baby as a connection to Hayden- knowing he had a part in sending us this angel on earth. Part of me was sad to welcome another year without Hayden- and today I find myself feeling that as well. Its hard to explain- but New Years Day is a day to start fresh- welcome a new year-look forward to whats ahead. And I do- I really really do- but I guess there will always be that part of me that will have a pain in my heart at the thought of starting yet another year without him.
I am so excited for this coming year. It is another year I am into my pain and grief and each year I learn to cope and deal with it better. It will always be there- this I am ok with- but learning how to handle it is a skill that I am adapting to and know that with each passing year I will get better at it. 
I am thrilled to celebrate Hudson's first birthday in just over a month! He has brought so much joy to our hearts and to this home- and watching him grow is truly a blessing. Jackson will turn 6 this year and each year he somehow gets a little sweeter and a little cooler ;) and as he grows, so does our relationship. He is my best bud and I thoroughly look forward to 3:00 when I can pick him up from school each day and spend the rest of our day together! 
2014 proved to be a wonderful year of growth for Hayden's Heart. We gained so many more supporters and raised awareness and funds for CHD and for families fighting alongside their children. At our annual board meeting in October, we discussed our incredible growth the past year and how amazing it was. This little vision we had 2 years ago has developed into something I am so passionate about and truly cannot wait to see what 2015 has in store for our sweet Hayden's legacy. We have some pretty great things lined up that we cannot wait to share with all of you! Stay tuned....
And I am officially a broken record, but none of this would have been possible without all of you- you will never know how grateful I am for your unconditional love and support for our sweet Hayden and for Hayden's Heart. 
I wish you all a wonderful New Years- I hope you are all able to welcome it with open arms and that you, too are excited for whats in store for you in 2015!! And on that note- 2015?!?! How has it already been 15 years since the millennium when people were draining their bank accounts and stocking up on water just incase the world ended? (I knew we'd look back and laugh about that sometime!)

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